FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
