I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
