dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
