Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
