We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
