THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize