apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
