woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize