Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
