when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
