Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
