i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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