Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
