i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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