Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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