and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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