I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
