i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
