Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
