So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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