sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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