I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize