Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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