U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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