I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
soo... how was my night?
Shame - the story of my life.
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