just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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