also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
is that a dick in a sweater?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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