I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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