We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
