Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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