glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
