My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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