very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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