so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
there is glitter all over my balls
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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