You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
