Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize