Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
