Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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