I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
birth control should be required to get into college
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
