The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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