just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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