Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
BRING THE BAGELS
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
