After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
if i died would you start the facebook group?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Still dying that you shit outside
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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