My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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