So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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