Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
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