me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My dick has a subreddit
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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