TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
