Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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