the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
