I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
