I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
That's intense
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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