Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
