i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
