i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wish life had little blips of pornography
ugly people sure do ruin things
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
not ubering you a puppy
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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