im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I didn't notice because vodka
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
