Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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