you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
