What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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