Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
