So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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