I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
