Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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