The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
