is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
