One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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