We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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