I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
