If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
