it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
