meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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