apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
