please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize