I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
