hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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