you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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