watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
