Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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