creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize