At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
