at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
