I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We need to get me chipped asap
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