one two three fourrrrnication!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
